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Love is Blind

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Love is Blind

This is an inscription from a 12th century Hoysala temple in Belur, Karnataka.
Belur in olden days was known by Velapuri, the first capital of the Hoyasala Kings who ruled in between 10th and 14th centuries in certain parts of southern India. This temple was built in 1117 AD to commemorate Hoyasalas victory against the Chola viceroy of the Talakad.
The image is of a man and a donkey head woman.It means that at a younger age even the ugliest looking girl looks beautiful to a man……..or love is blind……interesting capture by me…..

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why Indian women are supposed to be Super women?

Today was my monthly visit to the beauty parlour and I asked for the same girl who had waxed my legs last time- Manu. As she was familiar to me, we got talking while she expertly removed the unwanted hair off my legs. Manu is 26 years old Nepali girl  with a reasonable background who came to India for pursuing her graduation. She fell in love with an Indian student and got married. Her husband who was her college mate is completing a post graduate course in International business, while Manu is working in a beauty parlour. She travels everyday for two hours to reach her work place; works nine hours and again travels back. She is out of her house for 14 hours and goes home and does the house work also.

She married willingly and in love, but is still unhappy. Why? She has become the typical “Indian housewife” who is both a working woman and a home maker and is equally proficient in both. This is the story of millions of Indian women, whether in urban or rural areas. They are the cheapest labour on earth and are conditioned from a very young age to be giving and accept their fate. Does it mean that juggling work and house duties is a sign of continued repression?

For me as a single woman it is independence to live my own life; but for a housewife the pressure is too much to handle. The sense of guilt of concentrating on their career more than the house work stresses them out. Even the in-laws and the parents expect the woman to be at the sacrificing end. While in urban areas, the men are sharing housework and helping their wives, but the majority of Indian women still continue to take on the dual responsibility without any help. In the west this is called multi tasking which is a positive word, but in India it takes another colour. Women are supposed to be earners and have a traditional mind set, be virtuous in all aspects.

This mix of modern and traditional mind set is too much for a woman to handle and she struggles to prove herself as a mother, a wife and as a career woman. This all can change if the men and the family eases the pressure and responsibility on the women and let her breathe and stop expecting so much from her. It is too much some times to be a super woman.

As Manu-the super woman curses herself and says “Indian males are the worst” and I have nothing to contradict this.

Daring Indian Woman…….Durga Shakti Nagpal

Indian Administrative Services(IAS) is the most coveted post in India with tough competition at all levels. But bureaucracy in India is  controlled by politicians and they are tied down; letting corruption spread its wings taking the law and order in its hands.

The latest case is of the suspension of a 29 year old woman IAS officer- Durga Shakti Nagpal in Noida ,Uttar Pradesh by the Chief Minister. Her mistake was that she came down heavily against the sand mining mafia who are illegally involved in removing sand from river banks and have the political backing.

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why I write about her? Its common in India for the IAS officers to dance at the political tunes. So what’s new?

Its probably very few women executives who have the will power and courage to take on the corrupt system head on. Not even bothered about their personal or professional security; this dynamic officers are the face of that young India who are tired of the corrupt ways of the government and their nexus with the businessmen and the criminals. Durga Shakti reminds us of the fact that we Indians want they can stand up against corruption in Public office despite consequences.

A honest woman officer suspended for carrying out her duties, doing her work. This is the reality of India in 2013- educated youth trying to change the face of India and take on the corrupt politicians…….an effort which cannot and should not go un noticed.

Interesting Read …….on women and men by Osho

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I was reading this book-“The book of  women” written by OSHO of which following is an excerpt:

In the Upanishads there is a very strange blessing for new couples. A new couple comes to the seer of the Upanishads and he gives his blessing. He says to the girl specifically, “I

hope you will become a mother of ten children, and finally, your husband will be your eleventh child. And unless you become a mother to your husband, you have not succeeded in being a true wife.”

It is very strange but has immense psychological insight in it, because this is what the modern psychology finds, that every man is looking in the woman for his mother, and every woman is looking in the man for her father.

 That’s why every marriage is a failure: you cannot find your mother. The woman you have married has not come to your house to be your mother, she wants to be your wife, a lover. But the Upanishadic blessing, almost five thousand or six thousand years old, gives an insight to the modern psychology. A woman, whatsoever she is, is basically a mother.

A father is an invented institution, it is not natural. And soon the father may become out of date.

Once the science of genetics develops, the more scientific, more clinical, more hygienic way will be that fathers donate sperm to the hospital, and the medical experts choose the right living sperm that can be injected into the woman. Every man should not be allowed to be a father. Because of this accidental fatherhood, the earth is full of blind people, lame people, crazy people, mad people, retarded people… It cannot be left accidental.

The sperm may have come from somebody else; you have to be generous in favor of the children so they will not be blind, will not suffer their lives as cripples. And moreover,

you will be able to ask the medical expert for the kind of child that you want.

The basic sperm shows all the qualities that will manifest later on. If you want a scientist it can be seen that this person is going to become one –or a great poet, or an engineer, or a doctor, or just a vagabond. So the accidental birth can disappear and a planned birth can take its place. It will just take a little time for stupid human minds to get accustomed to the new idea.

But the mother will remain indispensable. They have tried experiments: they have given children all the facilities, medication, all the food… every perfection from different

branches of science, but strangely the children go on shrinking and will die within three months. Then they discovered that the mother’s body and her warmth is an absolute necessity for life to grow. That warmth in this vast cold universe is absolutely necessary in the beginning, otherwise the child will feel abandoned. He will shrink and die.

There is no need for man to feel inferior to woman. The whole idea arises because you take man and woman as two species. They belong to one humanity, and they both have complementary qualities. They both need each other, and only when they are together are they whole…

Life should be taken with ease. Differences are not contradictions. They can help each other and immensely enhance each other. The woman who loves you can enhance your creativity, can inspire you to heights you have never dreamed of. And she asks nothing.

She simply wants your love, which is her basic right.

Most of the things that make men and women different are conditional. Differences should be maintained because they make men and women attractive to each other, but

they should not be used as condemnation. I would like both to become an organic whole, remaining at the same time absolutely free because love never creates bondage, it gives

freedom. Then we can create a better world. Half of the world has been denied its contribution and that half, the women, had an immense capacity to contribute to the world. It would have made it a beautiful paradise.

So I don’t ask that they should be equal, that they should wear the same clothes, that they should behave like men, or use vulgar language because the man uses it.

The woman should search into her own soul for her own potential and develop it, and she will have a beautiful future.

Man and woman are neither equal nor unequal, they are unique. And the meeting of two unique beings brings something miraculous into existence.”

Wow! such a small excerpt which provides a wonderful insight to an entirely different perspective. If you come to think of it, women are made so different than a male; both physically and physiologically but somehow there is a battle of sexes than peaceful cohabitation…..more so in the contemporary India.

We are a deep rooted culture with a definite bias towards the sexes……but it is time to contemplate how we retain our feminity and achieve our freedom…

Indian women and gender stereotyping………

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I am a post graduate in Economics who was  teaching pre university economics. Then  after my Management degree I started working as a supply chain professional for a established brand in Bangalore. When I began looking for work after resigning from my present one,  I was confident that I would get one without much headache. But my confidence was short lived. For the same job in another company, I was rejected for being a woman. They did not want a woman handling the procurement of an organisation.

Another company told me that they were looking for a younger male candidate. They thought that a woman would not be able to do the necessary leg work and that they were apt for desk jobs in Human resources/sales/Public relations/Front office.

After competing on the same platform as men and excelling in my work, this was something I could not reconcile with. But this is a fact that in India Gender Stereotyping is still very much prevalent.

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Women in India are pretty much working in every sphere; but still established companies also believe that women can be employed only for certain posts only.

Sample This-

a question asked in the Teaching Aptitude for the University Grants Commission’s National Eligibility Test (for recruitment to junior research fellowships or university level teaching jobs):

“At primary school stage, most teachers should be women because:”

a. can teach children better than men.

b. know basic content better than men.

c. are available on lower salaries.

d. can deal with children with love and affection.

The above question is asked for candidates who are the future Professors of India, the caretakers of millions of younger generation.

This shows how the Indians still live the fact that women are apt for certain kinds of jobs only. They are taken to be emotional, kind hearted, not competitive and above all lacking the killer instinct. But if you look around, most of the five star hotels have Male chefs; cooking which was supposedly a woman’s job. Women are now pilots, in army, in politics and at gas stations…..but an Indian woman has to always fight for her identity irrespective of what post she holds which challenges a typical male bastion.

These gender roles are embedded into our culture, the way we are brought up and conditioned….to be mothers, caretakers, nurses, cooks and air hostesses……The indian woman struggles constantly challenging these stereotypes…carving a place for herself.

As for me, I have still not managed to get a job for myself……

Link

http://nirmukta.com/2011/08/27/the-status-of-women-as-depicted-by-manu-in-the-manusmriti/

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http://nirmukta.com/2011/08/27/the-status-of-women-as-depicted-by-manu-in-the-manusmriti/

Manusmriti is the ancient Hindu text defining the divine code of conduct and how Hinduism should conduct itself. The statement it makes about the women says a lot about the way Indians treat their women. This article has all the comments made on women and how they should conduct themselves.

This shows why the Indian mentality is so deeply routed in the derogation of women…….

my life …my terms

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I live life my way…my terms…..I make all the decisions. The clothes I wear and the man I date, I will have coffee or green tea……yoga classes or movie….the music on my I pod or the TV channels I watch……Where I make my investments or whether I resign from a job.I will tell you that is so liberating……..

I am the centre stage….to many women in the western world this a way of life, but for an Indian woman ;its a struggle…..

All our lives we are seasoned to depend on the males in our family, on fathers and brothers and later on husbands and sons . Our lives revolve around them…..this is the way the woman is in a highly skewed indian society….you stay at home or you earn…..the decision maker will be a male…..

The contemporary indian woman is like me…….educated, independent and a decision maker…..I am the face of an assertive breed of women who are slowly making their place in the social  chain…….from dependents we are now the decision makers……

Hmmm…….I am  enjoying it all…………on my terms…….:)